Monday, 19 October 2015

Listen to your Heart, but speak with your Mind

Original Picture taken from StockSnap
 Nowadays we are taught that it is okay to speak your mind. That we are obliged to share our thoughts and our emotions with the world and the people around us. We no longer live in a society where we have to hold out tongues (at least in the Western hemisphere). If we don't like something, we say it. If we have complaints, we don't conceal them. 

However, it is not always that easy, especially if we enter the realm of interpersonal relationships. You do not want to hurt some else's feelings, sometimes even if they had hurt yours before. After all, it is not always intentional, right? But when you are stood up by someone for the second time in a row on a very short notice (I'm talking about a few hours before the actual date), you have a right to be disappointed, even if you know that the other person didn't do it on purpose. 
Some people are just a bit chaotic, so things like that happen. But if you haven't seen someone in a long time and you have been looking forward to seeing them so badly, this whole affair leaves a very bad aftertaste. 

You might want to tell him that you are disappointed, that you hate being stood up like that, but in the end you decide against it. You laugh it off. You tell him that it's alright and of course the date can be postponed. "No worries. It's fine, really. We can go another time!"

At the end of the talk you feel a bit numb. It is not real sadness. You just don't feel right. Maybe because you didn't say the right things - the things you actually wanted to say when you tried not to make the other person feel bad. 

It is always difficult to decide when to tell the truth and when to hide it. Is it for the sake of someone else or your own? Who will benefit? Both? Or will someone get hurt?
Usually, I refrain from revealing my personal feelings and thoughts, when I suffer from disappointment or anger. Snapping at the other person is never very helpful. And while the impulsive buy of a new book can be very gratifying, you have to be careful with relying too much on your feelings - or rather with expressing them.

Listen with your heart, but speak with your mind.
You can't always prevent hurt and heartbreak, but you can try to diminish the damage by using your brain even though it can be hard at times. Think about it. Think about it with a clear mind and consider your possibilities before you start to complain and whine all day.

No comments:

Post a Comment