Sunday, 1 February 2015

Why I find Job Hunting SO hard

For the past two years, I have worked at my university's student office. It was an amazing time with a lot of great coworkers. It taught me how insane (and stupid) university students can be and what it means to accept responsibility.
I am always a little bit ashamed to admit, that this was my first job, because so many people start to work at a rather young age and are far more experienced once they reach the "wise" age of 23, but I am glad that I got the chance to work there anyway.

However, I am now faced with the difficulty of finding a new job. I have already sent out a couple of applications and to my surprise, there I will have two job interviews within the next two weeks. To me, this is very exciting, because I don't know what to expect.

Namely: what my potential new employer expects from me

Applications and job interviews  are always problematic for me, because their purpose is to create the best  image of yourself, in order to make yourself look as attractive as possible for a certain position.
This will most likely result in putting a strong emphasis on your strengths and elaborately talking about how perfect you are for the job (and who on this planet is ever perfect?). There will be some serious whitewashing - no explicit lies - because you do not want to end up admitting all of our little weaknesses.
They are not lies, but I am always afraid, that people will be disappointed, once they really get to know me.

What if I'm too slow?
What if I'm not creative or independend enough?
What if I turn out to be too forgetful?

There are many worries, many fears spinning through my head at the moment.
The thing is, that is SO hard for me to present myself in front of others, especially when it is face to face.

When I write a letter of application, I have enough time to think about things:
How I want to express myself and what might be important to mention.
In short: I can think things through very thoroughly.

During the interview, on the other hand, everything has to be spontaneous (my least favourite word).
You have to work with impulses at short notice and react appropriately to your conversation partner.

But as worried, as I might be, I am also excited, because it can be the start of something new and amazing. Maybe I find new friends or discover new abilities.

Whatever job I end up with, these phases of insecurity are also a good way to get back in touch with myself, what I want and how I want others to see me.
An experience which can be even more important than the application itself. 

What are your experiences with job hunting?

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