Thursday, 19 June 2014

So, what are we now?

For the past few weeks I have been seeing someone.

He was a customer at work and asked me out for a coffee. Subsequently we started seeing each other two to three times a week (which is a lot for me).
To me this is a completely new situation, because I haven't dated someone since my late teen-years and I am surprised about how well things are going right now.
I am neither annoyed by seeing him this often nor do I feel too intimidated by getting that close to someone (both things I have always struggled with).

Picture taken from Unsplash
This whole affair is a nice easy, breezy one. The one problem is that of course the people around me start asking questions:

"So, about you and him... how serious is it?"
"Are you a couple now?"

All of these questions refer to the status of our relationship and so far it was impossible for me to give a definite answer.

As a teenager things were comparatively easy:
You were either a real couple or not. Point.

But now as a young adult I feel like there are a lot more possibilities and different types of relationships and I am not only talking about friends with benefits (which we are not.... I think).

The two of us just let things roll without really discussing where we are going. So whenever people asked questions about the status of our relationship, my answer was always:
"I don't know. We haven't talked about this yet."
Not a very satisfying answer, right?

Maybe I have to make clear, that this kind of "not knowing" is not a problem for me. It is just annoying to get all of these questions all the time without being able to give an answer that makes everyone shut up.

So, on Saturday I brought up this topic for the first time asking:
"So, what are we now? I mean, everyone keeps asking me about this and I never know what to say to them."

Two things became clear that night:
1) He is dealing with the same problem
2) Neither of us knows how to classify our relationship

It might sound a bit too unemotional and dry, but both of us are not ready yet to use the term "love". But still we are satisfied with how things are going between us. We feel comfortable in our undefined relationship and we are willing to ease into it a bit more to see if it has the potential to become "the real deal".

Until then people have to be patient. Human relations are complicated. They are not black and white, just as it is not only about being together or being separated from each other. Apart from the fact that to me love at first sight is a rare phenomenon,you can date someone wihtout being madly in love with him/her from the very beginning as long as both parties feel the same about it.
If it feels right at that moment it's alright.

Maybe we will get closer over time, eventually developing deeper feelings for each other.
Mabe I will be able to take him home and introduce him to my parents as my partner.
Or maybe we will see that things would be better if we put an end to it.

We don't know yet and in fact:
We don't have to have it figured out right now. 

Life puts you into some awkward, but sweet situations - this being one of them.
Enjoy the ride. Perhaps you want to go for a second round.

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