Saturday, 28 December 2013

The absence of passion and talent

I once wrote a post about the film "500 days of Summer" and how a particular scene left its' little mark on my mind - how it made me think about the way my life is at moment.

Tonight another film made a similar impression on me and it was "the perks of being a wallflower". The overall film was very much to my taste. It is very melancholic and also contains good music. Furthermore two whole scenes are dedicated to the "Rocky Horror Picture Show". So, how could this be a bad film?

However there was something else, that stood out to me. Something which might be a minor detail in the eyes of someone else, but it was important to me.

In many films it goes like this:
Even if the main character seems to be normal and sometimes even dull, because he is rather introverted and an average kind of guy,  he always has a special feature about him. In this case we are talking about Charlie, the protagonist of "The perks of being a wallflower". He is shy and does not talk a lot in class (like I used to, when I was in school), but he has a talent for words and appears to like literature.
At some point his teacher tells him, that he should pursue his wish of becoming a writer and that he has the potential to make it. Maybe this whole affair stood out to me, because I like reading and writing myself, but neither would I consider it as a talent of mine, nor did anyone else ever tell me, that I am very good at it - which is even more important.

So, the question, which came up to me at that moment was:
Does everybody have this secret talent?

I mean, it makes sense for a protagonist of a book or a film to have it. It makes him more interesting and gives the character more depth, but in real life?
I should probably say something along the lines of: "Of course everybody has got a talent for something.", but I want to be honest. How can I say something like that, when I am not sure about my own person?

If I was the protagonist of a film, this would be one hell of a bore. first of all, there would be no love life. I never finish the things that I start and I do not have this wonderful secret talent. Last year, I tried ballet, but I sucked. I sucked balls and quit. I am overall not a sporty person and I have never been. Well, I played the clarinet for a few years, but I had to stop before my senior year of highschool. It was okay, but again, nothing I was too passionate about - nothing I was very well at. I like languages, but I am not too good at learning them. I like writing, but I never finish the stories, that I start and I never feel like I can express myself well enough (no matter which language).  I even suck at video games.

To make a long story short: there is no passion in my life and nothing I am good enough at to make me think, that I am not a complete failure. How do all these people out there know, that they are good at something? And that it is something that gives them pleasure?Because to my mind, being good at something, does not necessarily mean, that you have to like it. But if this was a film, there would be a perfect symbiosis of both of them:

Passion and talent.

But in this chest, there is nothing more than a beating heart to keep me alive. No passion. No energy. No fuel for my mind to make me want to achieve things. Just solid biological mechanisms.
Maybe there is some severe overestimation going on right now, considering the power of a "talent", but I certainly think, that it is nice to have one. It is something you can come back to, knowing that you are good at it. It is a safe harbour, where you do not always have to worry about success and failure. You just do it and chances are, that it turns out pretty well.

This whole text is not very encouraging. It is not even an encouragement for myself at the moment, but maybe someone who reads this, feels the same.

I hope, that he or she will not feel alone anymore.

No comments:

Post a Comment