Monday, 30 December 2013

Au revoir 2013, brace yourselves for 2014!

2013 is coming to an end and like every year you start to recapitulate what happened throughout the year. Which experiences were especially memorable – either in a good or a bad way? What changes did you go through? Was there anything that made you feel grateful or appreciate life more? What mistakes did you make?

To me, 2013 was a year with a lot of mixed feelings. I was sad many times, because life at uni did not quite work out the way I wanted it. I failed my last Japanese exam and my bachelor thesis did not turn out as good, as I had planned it. However I got accepted for the masters course I had decided for.

Furthermore there were some events on a more personal and even more emotional level, which were not too nice. After nearly one and a half years I still do not have the guts to tell my former neighbour how I feel about him. We did not see each other as much as in 2012 and I miss our evenings together on the sofa watching movies and playing videogames. There were two ambiguous incidents towards the end of the year (Halloween in particular), which ignited a spark of hope inside me, but then again it came to nothing – as always.
Tomorrow will be New Year's Eve and I will go out with him a few other friends.

So, „it's now or never“, isn't it?

Probably the most exciting thing to me in 2013 was moving into an appartment, inhabited only by my humble self. It was hard to leave something behind, that was so precious to me. The two girls, whom I shared the appartment with, were my friends since middle school and watching „The Emperor's new Groove“ or anything Monty Python related is only real fun, if they are there. Now, we go seperate ways, but I enjoy being on my own. It is definitely more work, but the move itself was so stressful, that the thought of staying within these 33m² is very tempting.

On another note, I started to live a little bit healthier, which means more veggies and less sweets and also more exercise. Of course, I did nothing productive during the Holidays and now I feel just as sluggish as before, but I feel like I will get the hang of it again pretty quickly.

Of course there were a lot more little things, that made this year worth remembering – meetings with the most amazing friends in the world, starting to work part-time, discovering new wonderful films and last but not least there was the addition of a new member to our family:

A second pug!
Jule is loud, quirky, sometimes a real pain in the butt, but once she comes to sit on your lap and cuddle, everything you were angry about is forgotten.

Tomorrow 2013 will end. I am not sure what is going to happen on that evening – IF something is going to happen at all, but 2014 is right around the corner and it feels like it is going to be a good year, apart from the usual little catastrophes.

Always remember, that you are responsible for your life. Try to see the good in everything and in case something goes wrong: Who the hell cares? If you fail an exam, it will not be the end of the world. If you embarass yourself, laugh about it (once it is over). Try to be more courageous and do new things (says the girl, who has been hiding her feeling from her crush for one and a half years ).
Maybe, 2013 was not your year, but life is too precious to get all snivelling.
Get moving instead!

I wish everyone out there an amazing start into the new year, health and happiness <3 span="">

Saturday, 28 December 2013

The absence of passion and talent

I once wrote a post about the film "500 days of Summer" and how a particular scene left its' little mark on my mind - how it made me think about the way my life is at moment.

Tonight another film made a similar impression on me and it was "the perks of being a wallflower". The overall film was very much to my taste. It is very melancholic and also contains good music. Furthermore two whole scenes are dedicated to the "Rocky Horror Picture Show". So, how could this be a bad film?

However there was something else, that stood out to me. Something which might be a minor detail in the eyes of someone else, but it was important to me.

In many films it goes like this:
Even if the main character seems to be normal and sometimes even dull, because he is rather introverted and an average kind of guy,  he always has a special feature about him. In this case we are talking about Charlie, the protagonist of "The perks of being a wallflower". He is shy and does not talk a lot in class (like I used to, when I was in school), but he has a talent for words and appears to like literature.
At some point his teacher tells him, that he should pursue his wish of becoming a writer and that he has the potential to make it. Maybe this whole affair stood out to me, because I like reading and writing myself, but neither would I consider it as a talent of mine, nor did anyone else ever tell me, that I am very good at it - which is even more important.

So, the question, which came up to me at that moment was:
Does everybody have this secret talent?

I mean, it makes sense for a protagonist of a book or a film to have it. It makes him more interesting and gives the character more depth, but in real life?
I should probably say something along the lines of: "Of course everybody has got a talent for something.", but I want to be honest. How can I say something like that, when I am not sure about my own person?

If I was the protagonist of a film, this would be one hell of a bore. first of all, there would be no love life. I never finish the things that I start and I do not have this wonderful secret talent. Last year, I tried ballet, but I sucked. I sucked balls and quit. I am overall not a sporty person and I have never been. Well, I played the clarinet for a few years, but I had to stop before my senior year of highschool. It was okay, but again, nothing I was too passionate about - nothing I was very well at. I like languages, but I am not too good at learning them. I like writing, but I never finish the stories, that I start and I never feel like I can express myself well enough (no matter which language).  I even suck at video games.

To make a long story short: there is no passion in my life and nothing I am good enough at to make me think, that I am not a complete failure. How do all these people out there know, that they are good at something? And that it is something that gives them pleasure?Because to my mind, being good at something, does not necessarily mean, that you have to like it. But if this was a film, there would be a perfect symbiosis of both of them:

Passion and talent.

But in this chest, there is nothing more than a beating heart to keep me alive. No passion. No energy. No fuel for my mind to make me want to achieve things. Just solid biological mechanisms.
Maybe there is some severe overestimation going on right now, considering the power of a "talent", but I certainly think, that it is nice to have one. It is something you can come back to, knowing that you are good at it. It is a safe harbour, where you do not always have to worry about success and failure. You just do it and chances are, that it turns out pretty well.

This whole text is not very encouraging. It is not even an encouragement for myself at the moment, but maybe someone who reads this, feels the same.

I hope, that he or she will not feel alone anymore.

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

The sweet 'n' salty thing & my praliné mishap

Christmas is the time to indulge in your favourite meals and candys, no matter how unhealthy they may be. And Christmas is the time for me throw all the resolutions I made concerning a healthy lifestyle overboard for the sake of feasting myself.
However, whenever I watch a 'healthy snack video' or read a blog post about this topic, there is this one combination which crosses my way over and over again:

A random fruit (preferably apples or bananas) + peanut butter

Well, I do not habe any regrets, when I let go of all my good intentions during the holidays, but replacing my chocolate and cookies with something „healthy“ does not seem too bad either.
To many people, this combination might not be that uncommon and maybe I am the only person in the world who finds this a strange mixture, but I still can not imagine those two worlds together. So, this evening I made the test and sliced up an apple to dip it into my newly bought peanut butter.

The result: It is actually not that bad! There is this freshness of the apple and then the creamy texture of the peanut butter, which is quite nice. I thought, that the peanut butter would have a very dominant taste, but it does not (but maybe it depends on the brand). You actually have this nutty, salty flavour rather at the end, so it does not collide with the apple too much.
Nevertheless there is one thing I have to admit: it was not enough to satisfy my cravings completely. I still feel like I want a little bit more of something.
Something less healthy.

The reason why I made this „culinary experiment“ in the first place was this recipe with peanut butter, that I wanted to try out:

I love „bite these goodies“, because the recipes are often quite easy to make, but still offer a different twist to a sometimes classic dish. This whole sweet and salty thing is still new to me, but I immediately thought, that these pralinés might be nice.

First off: They really taste amazing! But there is one downside to it: I still failed miserably!
Because I am a stupid European who was not able to convert cups into grams the right way.

=> too many pretzels, not enough peanut butter and sticky fingers.

I mean, look at these pretty, little babies on the site! They are bitesized little wonders! Beautiful and even on the outside and smooth and slightly crunchy on the inside and now look at what I (the genius) came up with:

What the hell are these monsters?? It was a real pain in the ass to form little balls with my mixture. So I ended up with huge chunks of peanut butter pretzels.
Because of the warmth of my fingers the peanut butter became runny and prefered to stick to my fingers or make my chunks fall apart instead of sticking them together.

After more about forty pretzel-chunks, I still have about half of the mixture left. Maybe I will use it up tomorrow. 

 This whole experience makes me feel very incapable and incompetent. Why else would someone assume, that he needs more pretzels than peanut butter? Because, hey! The more pretzels I have, the better!
No! This is definitely not the case.
Please do not get me wrong, I do not want to bash on this wonderful recipe. The overall taste of the „pralinés“ is very good and if I had looked at the pictures properly and done a better job at converting the measurements, everything would be perfectly fine.

Anyway, the moral of this story is as it follows:

Always check the instructions properly and always try something new!

Sunday, 15 December 2013

A little film guide for the festive season

9 more days to go till Christmas Eve and two more weeks of 2013. I guess that most people are at this point either in full Christmas spirit, baking cookies and listening to Christmas songs 24/7 or running around around with a grim face, because of all the stress. Personally, I love the Christmas season and one of my favourite parts about December is that I finally get to watch my Christmas films again. I love films in general, but there is this special feeling about Christmas films that I love – this wonderful warmth in your belly.

This time I want to present to you my favourite films to watch this season. Not all of them are Christmas related, but I still think they are appropriate for this cosy time of the year. 

1) The Muppets Christmas Carol (1992)

Who does not know the Charles Dickens' classic Christmas tale about grumpy Ebenezer Scrooge? Countless attempts have been made to turn this story into a film, but this one is by far the most entertaining one. First of all, Michael Caine embodies Ebenezer Scrooge perfectly, but my favourite part about the film have to be the great Gonzo as Charles Dickens and Rizzo the rat as... well, as himself. The two of them are a great duo which makes this film very lighthearted and humorous.

It is my favourite film to watch with my mum. We love singing along to the songs and the humour is just perfect for our taste.

2) Little Women (1994)

„Little Women“ is based on Louisa May Alcott's novel from 1868/1869 and it follows the story of four sisters and their way to adulthood. It is one of those films which is heartbreaking, but at the same time heartwarming as well and to my mind, this is what makes a very good Christmas movie. Winona Ryder plays the boyish, but passionate Jo March so nicely and you also get to see a young Christian Bale as her best friend „Teddy“ who falls in love with her.
Set around the time of the American Civil War there are wonderful costumes to look at and together with the amazing sountrack and the historic setting, this film has a good frame for this classic story. 

On a side note: There is also a version from 1933 with Katharine Hepburn as Jo which is a warm recommendation to you as well.

3) The Family Stone (2005)

This has to be probably my favourite Christmas movie out of all the ones I mention in this blog. At this point some people might ask: „Why not Elf?“ (Which apparently a lot of people like) or „Why not film XY?“ also, this films' critics are not the best ones out of the bunch (52% on Rotten Tomatoes), but I still love it to pieces and I will tell you why.

It is Christmas at the Stones' residence and the whole family comes together to celebrate. All of them are quite liberal and „free thinkers“ if you want to call it like that. The trouble starts, when Everett (Dermot Mulroney) arrives with his girlfriend Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker) who is very uptight and so has a very difficult position in the family from the very beginning.
When Meredith calls for her sister Julie (Claire Danes) to come and help her, the trouble really starts. Moreover a more serious shadow is cast over this Christmas season, but I do not want to spoil too much.
Just like „Little Women“ this film is heartbreaking, very very heartbreaking, but there are a lot of romantic and funny moments as well. I love the members of the huge Stones family, especially the stubborn Amy (Rachel McAdams). I love their house and the snow. I love the music. I love the atmosphere within the family itself full of love and acceptance. This film just screams „American Christmas kitsch“ and this is probably the most important fact for me. 

If you want a lovely film to watch, when you just want to snuggle up on the couch, drink a hot chocolate and cry a few tears of sadness and joy, this is for you!

4) Meet me in St. Louis (1944)

This Hollywood musical with Judy Garland in the leading role is one of my more recent favourites. I have known the song "Have yourself a merry little Christmas" for years, but I never got the chance to watch the actual film until last year on the plane (where I curled up and cried like a child while listening to this song). Then, this summer, I finally found the DVD at a flea market in London. 
The film itself is set in St. Louis at the beginning of the 20th century and contains (of course) a love story. However the film reaches its' climax, when the father reveals to his family that they will leave St. Louis to go to New York and they spend their last winter in their beloved hometown. The last ball on Christmas Eve, when Esther (Judy Garland) dances with her grandfather (Harry Davenport) to "Auld Lang Syne" is so sweet and sad to watch. After her return home Judy Garland sings her famous rendition of "Have Yourself a merry little Christmas". It gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. It might be one of the more das Christmas songs, but I adore it nonetheless. 

Not being entirely a Christmas film, I still do not think I could watch "Meet me in St. Louis" at any other time of the year, due to the strong effect of this scene I described above. It would just feel awfully wrong to me to watch this during spring or summer, but maybe that is just me again.

5) Downton Abbey (2010- )

I am not a very good series-watcher, but the British TV series „Downton Abbey“ got me completely hooked. It starts in 1912 with the sinking of the Titanic and follows the fate of the Crawley family from then on through the First World War, the roaring twenties and is still going on. It focuses not only on the characters of the Crawley family itself, but also the servants working in the house. Critics say, that the series tends to be very melodramatic and I agree with them and sometimes it is a bit predictable, but in the end I enjoy following the development of the characters as individuals and their relationships with others.
Apart from the fact, that I could steal every single dress from Lady Mary, Edith, Lady Sybil, or Cora, their mother, the whole series lives from the melancholic, slightly aristocratic - well British – atmosphere. It is just a perfect watch for the cold season.

A few Christmas specials have been released as well, however I only own the one from 2011. 

I have to admit, that I was a bit disappointed with it. I bought it last year after Christmas when I was in London and did not watch it until recently, because when it comes to Christmas related films, I am very strict: no watching until the first of December!

It was not as christmassy, I had liked it to be, but it is still enjoyable. However I highly recommend the overall series to everyone, who likes England, drama and the historic setting.

6) The Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Maybe one of THE classic Disney films of all times. It has always been one my Disney favourites and I think everybody knows it. But since I enjoy it the most when it is cold outside, but warm in the house, I thought I would still mention it in here. Maybe it is just me, but the atmosphere is a bit darker than in most Disney films and there are also many romantic and wintery elements (which again, to me are the most enjoyable during this time of the year). 

Basically this is just a reminder to everyone to watch this timeless classic again.

At this point I will wrap up my little film guide. Of course there are many other great Chrismas films out there like "It's a wonderful life" or "Christmas Vacation", but these ones are especially close to my heart.
I think between all this Christmas stress with buying presents and preparing everything for Christmas Eve, we should take an evening in between to just sit down and actually enjoy what this season has to offer. 

What are your favourite Christmas films?

Sunday, 1 December 2013

Small boobs -and why you should embrace them

Maybe this is something most of you already know, but:

Boobs are not everything guys are looking for in a girl.

Well, at least if their character is just half as agreeable as they should be. This boobie-thing has been one of the most common prejudices of dating-history, but every once in a while I think people should be reminded of the fact, that boobies are not everything.
I can see why guys like them. They are soft and round and feel nice to touch, but they are also the cause for a lot of trouble and by trouble I mean „mind-trouble“ for women all over the planet. For generations girls and also women have been worrying if their boobies are too small for a man to be appealing, but honestly?

As soon as the sexy-time arrives, he will not care as much about the size of your boobs, as you think he would – if he is not a total dick. I can understand that women who are really troubled do not find this information very helpful, but I still want to raise awareness.

Small boobs are wonderful!

Being quite flat chested myself, I have never seen them as some kind of handicap, when it comes to hunting for guys in the wild prairie. My body is very petite, so big boobs would look weird on me anyway, but in my opinion they have so many advantages compared to bigger bra buddies.

First of all they give you a lot more freedom. For example, when I wear a hoodie, with a top underneath, I do not even have to wear a bra to keep everything in place or to hide my nipples.
The feeling of removing your bra after a long, exhausting day is wonderful, but to me it is good to know, that I do not always have to rely on a bra.

Also, when going clubbing and I want to wear a top without wanting to reveal my bra straps, it is alright to just wear a light bandeau underneath. I always ask myself how girls with a more generous balcony manage this. Any ideas?

Another pro is the almighty force of gravity, which pulls everything down. A bra supports your boobs, so they do not sag or wiggle around your ears, which gets more important the older you get. Sooner or later gravity will do its' evil work and pull these babies down. As a matter of fact women with bigger boobs are prone to this before we small chested women do.

Ergo, even when your face starts to wrinkle, your boobs might still be quite firm and lovely.

And talking about the movements of the boobs:
Actually sometimes I do feel that they exist. During sports or walking and they just annoy me – they way I feel them moving up and down. Another reason for me to prefer mine small and compact.

All of this might not be enough to make everyone who has a small chest embrace this trait. Women will always worry about the way they look. It does not even have to be the chest area. There are so many things about oneself to feel insecure about.

At least, this is what we think.

People love you just the way you are and this is why there is actually just one thing you have to work on:

Your mind.

Start to love yourself the way you are and people with appreciate you even more. Your life will become so much more relaxed. Do not be so tense about your boobs, or your thighs or your nose. Embrace them and find someone who embraces you just the way you deserve it.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Disconnected or Me without the internet

For about a whole week I was completely isolated from the outside world. Due to problems with my provider my internet and telephone connection had collapsed, leaving me in pure despair. What followed was the usual pattern of behaviour:

You keep refreshing the Google main page and checking your router with that little spark of hope, that it miraculously starts to work again, but no luck.
Soon you just want to curl up in a dark corner of your apartment and cry like a baby – or like a an alcoholic who just finished his last bottle of whiskey and then realizes, that all the shops are closed. I do know, that I spend the majority of my life either in bed or in front of a computer on the internet, but once my internet connection fails, I realize just how dependend I am.
Youtube, Tumblr, Facebook, Blogs... all the things that I honestly enjoy a lot, but can not access. It makes me mad! On top of that I can not work on my uni stuff properly and during that week without internet I had to prepare 3 presentations!

On a side note: The library of my university, where I have access to internet for free, is about 20 minutes away from my home, but pssshhhtt! I never said that!

I mean, the thing is: I want to enjoy my internet at home. There are some guilty pleasures which are not supposed to be let out in public. You simply can not watch a vlog by Essiebutton in your library! You have to wear your pajamas and drink a nice cup of tea with it for God's sake!
And concerning uni? Well, who does not search for an excuse to slack off a bit from time to time?
The same goes for working out: As long as I can not access my workout playlist on Youtube, there is no use trying it, right? ;)

Well, at this point I might have to admit something: I did not spend the whole week without internet. During the weekend I packed my things and dashed off to my parents' house where I could also get my presentations done. However, it is not the same.

Being without internet is like losing a friend... temporary. I had to laugh about myself, when I wanted to take the bus and realized, that I could not look up the schedule and felt completely lost. I was not even able to look up the weather report. Little things like that show me how insecure I actually am.

Nevertheless, without the internet you start to enjoy other things more. During the evenings I just lounged on my sofa watching „New Girl“ or I went to bed earlier to read a bit more than I usually do.

Frankly, the internet does not affect the way I lead my social life. I do not get together more with my friends, because the internet is down, but because I feel like it. The absence or presence of the internet rather affects the way I spend my me-time.

Maybe some people expect me to finish this text off by saying how much I enjoyed being „offline“ and that it made me realize that there are so many things which are more important. Well guys, you are horribly mistaken. Actually, I want to conclude this post by saying something completely different:

Internet, thank you for being there for me, for cheering me up and keeping me on track 24/7. I know, your life is not always easy and sometimes everyone needs a little break, because people can be very demanding. But I have one little favour :

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

The comfort of isolation

Ever since I was a child I enjoyed the comfort of being at home – alone. Of course, as a human being, social interaction is indispensable. Sharing and creating memories with your loved ones is a wonderful aspect of life. But still, there are people who gain their strength and inner balance not from social interaction, but from being all by themselves.
Well yes, I am one of them. To me, there is nothing as relaxing as spending an entire day (or in my case night, because I am a nightowl) all alone just watching a nice film, eating a lot and exploring the wonders (or mainly abysses) of the internet. To a „properly socialised“ human being this might seem very dull and unproductive. While the last point is definitely true, there is just one thing I can say:

Dude, this is how I roll!

And I am sure that there are many other people like me out there.
I enjoy my precious me-time a lot, but it does not mean that I despise being around other people. Just like everyone else I enjoy spending days with my friends. The thing is just, that my „recovery time“ afterwards is a bit longer.

This „recovery time“ is what my body and mind need to calm down and focus on other aspects of life. This whole process is not about being selfish or self-centered, but about doing what feels good for you, so your mind stays sane. You do not want to go on everybodys' nerves by becoming all ill-tempered and a real drag.

On a sidenote I have to say, that I am very lucky to have friends who respect this part of my character and who accept it, that sometimes I simply do not want to be available. And on certain days it can be a lot more relaxing to lay on the couch all day, watch „Pride and Prejudice“ and eat a wonderful self-made happy meal, than to run around town and interact.

Especially now, that I am living alone I really started to appreciate my appartment as a shelter. A shelter where nothing can disturb me and where I find everything that my heart desires. And sometimes I even invite someone over to enjoy this little sanctuary of mine together and of course create new memories.

Friday, 25 October 2013

Work Life Balance - Ain't noboy got time for that??

During my studies at university I often came across the term „Work Life Balance“, mainly because the Japanese people seem to have problems with finding the right amount of work and freetime. They work long hours every day to return to their homes in the evenings, get up early in the morning and restart the same process.
The obvious problem seems to be that the Japanese struggle with finding their „Work Life Balance“, because there is too much work in the way.

Well, some people struggle because there is too much life.

It might come as a surprise to you, but I am one of those people and every semester after two months of vacation getting back on track with uni is a horrible process.
Of course, it is hard to study again after two months of doing nothing, but working and apart from that doing everything you like. Everything except for studying.

Sadly I tend to forget basically everything I had learned during the term with the result that I have to start from scratch. Always.

Maybe everything could be easier if I sat down and made a plan. Just like I organize my appointments and meetings, I should plan my university life. A few little tasks every day, so that the stuff to does not pile up over weeks of procrastinating, leaving me in the desperate mood to jump out of the window.

Why this sudden moment of enlightment after 3 years of repeating the vicious procastinating circle?

Well, now that I started my masters degree a week ago, I noticed that there is more work to do than ever. It is not just learning vocabulary and grammar from time to time and preparing maybe 2 presentations.
No, there is way too much reading to do, 5 presentations to prepare and about ten pages to translate every week and finally a part time job.

To sum up: Work is taking over my life.

My precious little life of staying up late and playing video games, reading, wasting my time in front of the computer and meeting my friends.

Of course it could be destinys' revenge for these 3 years of slacking off.
It most certainly is.

So, now I made a (for me) very serious decision:
I want to grow up.
At least a little bit and organize my work and my life to a healthy balanced unit.

But honestly?
People make so many plans in life and so do I.
In the end we often screw it up.
I screw it up.

I mean, ain't nobody got time for that??

Friday, 18 October 2013

The Secret Single Behaviour

I have been ill this whole damn week and sometimes there is nothing else to do, than call your workplace and
stay at home to just relax and let your immune system do its' work.
That is what I had to do this Wednesday.
So, I spent the entire day laying on the sofa, drinking tea and watching films. Finally I ended up watching one of my favourite TV shows of all time: Sex and the City.

At one point Carrie talks about the so called „Secret Single Behaviour“ (SSB). While Charlotte claims to enjoy examining her pores in a magnifying mirror for hours, Carrie likes to read fashion magazines in the kitchen. Standing. Why? Because she can.
Naturally everyone has got these little pleasures. These little things in life, which only belong to you. People neither have to know about them, nor do they have to participate. It is something you can enjoy when you are just by yourself.

I think it is now time to admit, that I have spent most of my life alone so far. Being 22 years old, I have barely spent 3 months in a relationship. Hence I had a lot of time to develop my own Secret Single Behaviour(s).

One of them might be a bit inappropriate to talk about, but honestly? I can not be the only one who does it.
Next to my toilet in my teeny tiny bathroom usually lies a pile of fashion magazines and books. The books are never real novels, just easy reads with short passages. You can open these books at any page, read a few paragraphes and then put it back. I think you already guessed the purpose of my little reading collection and yes, I like to keep myself entertained while.. you know, doing my thing. And by thing I do not mean washing my hair of brushing my teeth.
Because of that I often spend more time than necessary in the bathroom, but who cares? There is no one, who will knock at the door and shout something like:

„Come out already! The chili is killing me!“

Just on a side note: I do not even have to shut the door.

Another SSB of mine is more ordinary. I love to sing. In the car. Loudly. And if I say loudly, I mean it. That is why I prefer driving alone. This is my chance to basically let everything out, no matter what my voice sounds like. It is just me having fun with my favourite songs. Nobody can interrupt me or intimidate me (because sometimes it can be pain in the ass to have friends, who have awesome singing voices).

Let everything loose!

I think this is, what SSBs are all about. They are your little islands of comfort where you can be yourself and do whatever comes into your head. They do not have to have a certain purpose, because nobody will question them. If it makes you feel good about yourself, go for it!
Sometimes I like to do a little bit of yoga in the middle of the night and why the hell should I not do it? If my body and mind tell me, that it will be good for me, I have to follow, do I not?

That is why I encourage everyone out there to treasure and cultivate your SSBs.
Even if you are not single anymore, it does not matter. You might appreciate them even more, than the forever-alone-single-ladies like me who can indulge in them every day.
Sometimes when you are alone, a thick layer of handcreme, a pair of gloves and infomercials are everything you need.

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

The motion picture in my head

Yesterday I watched the film „500 days of Summer“ with Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt for the first time. Apart from the fact that this whole film was so beautiful to watch, there was one scene in particular, which stayed in my mind:

Towards the end of the film Summer invites Tom to party at her appartment. You can see a split screen, one half showing Tom's expectations and hopes for this evening and the other one showing the reality. Of course in Tom's fantasy everything goes smoothly and you feel instantly happy for him.
However, as soon as you look at the other part of the screen, you start shivering.
This feeling of happiness instantly fades away. What stays is a disillusionment.
Life is not 'la vie en rose'.

There are only a few, small differences between the screens:
A hug, a glance, a few words
But these small changes make the gap between the two screens even bigger, leaving you with discomfort.

Why this scene affected me so much?
Well, the thing is that I am a great daydreamer, like probably most of us are.
Before I meet 'someone' (and by 'someone' I mean the person I like), I imagine the whole situation in my head.
It becomes my own little, perfect motion picture:

„Ladies and Gentleman, enjoy this romantic comedy full of exciting twists and a charming couple, that will take your heart by storm!“

Everything is perfect:
The hug at the beginning, the shy glances and some ambiguous remarks in between and at the end there is a hollywood kiss.

In reality this whole affair is completely different:
A hug? Yes, but it feels a bit stiff.
There is no romantic sizzling in the air and certainly there is no kiss at the end.

Of course, I prefer the version in my head, but like every film, the realisation is quite an obstacle. You need a proper setting and a good timing and both of which are a hassle to organize.

Until then I will just stick with the motion pictures in my head and pretend that life is indeed 'la vie en rose'.
At least until reality strikes again.

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Delicious hot plum dessert with a crisp

This recipe is perfect for those cold and uncomfortable sundays, when you just want to curl up on your sofa and enjoy a bit of heavenly sweetness.
It is actually inspired by the wonderful cinnamon oatmeal cookie recipe from „bite these goodies“ (which, by 
the way, an amazing source for easy, but tasty meals):

I used this recipe as a basis to create something crispy to go with the smooth texture of the plums.
Please note, that the information on the ingredients is not very precise, since this was just an experiment and I did not expect it to turn out that well. So, you might have to try a bit around, too, but actually this whole process is quite easy.

But now on to the ingredients!

For the plum dessert (1 person, 2 servings):

- plums (I used about 15 damson plums)
- water (enough to nearly cover the plums in the pot)
- cinnamon and brown sugar according to your liking

crispy topping:

- oatmeal
- butter
- brown sugar
- a bit of flour
- cinnamon

We are going to start with the topping, because this is slightly more difficult, but in the end it does not matter, if you start with the dessert first.

1. Put some butter into a mixing bowl and whisk it with some brown sugar until it is nicely blended. Note: I used about 50-60 grams of butter.

2. Once butter and sugar are combined, dust it with some flour and add about half a teaspoon of cinnamon. => Mix again.

3. Now it is time to add the oatmeal, about 50 grams. The texture of the dough should be very grainy and thick and not as creamy as the actual cookie dough.

4. Finally, spread the dough as an even, not too thick line, on a baking sheet.
Bake it for ca. 13-15 minutes on 180°C. This is what it should look like when it comes out:

According to our oven it might take a bit longer or less, but when you take it out, the edges should have browned. Once the topping has cooled down it should be crispy and easy to break it into small pieces. 

Next the plum dessert:

1. First of all you have to cut the plums into quarters, before they go into the pot.
Then add some water until the plums almost entirely covered. Heat the stove in order to boil down the plums. Do not forget to stir it from time to time. You do not want it to stick to the bottom and burn.

2. Once this mixture starts to thicken, add some brown sugar and cinnamon according to your liking. The plums give the mix a slight sourness, while still being fruity and sweet.
Soon your whole kitchen is going to smell like christmas!
When the mixture is nice and thick, turn down the stove. 

3. Pour some of your dessert into a bowl and top it off with your oatmeal crisps.
Then there is nothing left to do, but enjoy this belly and heart warming, little dish.

I am truly sorry, that I am not very elaborate, when it comes to descibing recipes, but I hope, that this was at least enough to inspire you.
Also, I would like to thank „bite these goodies“ for the amazing cookie recipe. I made these cookies already three times and they never failed.
AND if my recipe is too confusing, you have to try at least the cinnamon oatmeal cookies!

That's an order! :)

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Patience - Impatience

Patience is a virtue.

It makes life a lot easier for you, because it makes it easier to wait - no matter if it might be an event, a person or just the right moment to do something.
Personally, I've never been a patient person. As a child I used to sneak into my grandparents' bedroom to look for my christmas present. When I was invited to somewhere, I could not sleep nights before, because I was so impatient and just wanted this special moment to arrive.

Nowadays I am not worried about Christmas anymore, but I still have this inner nervousness.
Sometimes I am just impatient for something to be over:
Exams, official phone calls and meetings, a long day at work and other inconvenient happenings of life...
Other times there is this unbearable waiting for something you long for:
A trip with your friends, the weekend, a date, a kiss, holding hands for the first time...
Is it not strange how many of the things I mentioned are love related?

Of course everyone has got his own priorities, but we have at least one thing in common:
Sometimes, we have to wait.

People who are naturally patient might say:
There's nothing to worry about. My moment will come soon enough.“

People who are like me might say:
„Why can't tomorrow be today? And why can't next week be this week?“

And just like that you end up wasting a lot of your precious time by thinking only about the future and forgetting to live in the present.

Am I the only one who thinks, that this sound very cheesy?

But still, I can not deny the truth behind this phrase. Even at the moment I am so impatient for something particular to happen, that I can not focus my mind on other things.
Things I actually HAVE to do and things I might be able to instead.

Impatience is a blockade.
Patience is a virtue.

But is patience something you can learn? Something you can cultivate?

Maybe I am cursed to live my life in this fast-forward-mode, jumping from one supposedly important happening to the next one, not caring about the little things that happen in between.

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

That autumn feeling

When I woke up one morning it was suddenly autumn.
The leafs had started to turn brown and fall from the trees. It rained and even now it is raining.
The air in the early mornings is crisp and tingly on my bare cheeks.
However, when the sun comes out, everything is soaked into this rich golden sheen – like honey.

Many people start to complain, because summer is slowly fading away now.
The days are getting shorter, the nights longer.
It is harder to get out of bed in the morning. Even harder than it already is.

But I have to admit, that I love autumn.
I love snuggling up on my couch, watching old movies.
I love lying in bed, listening to the rain and I even love that feeling when you feel this instant warmth when you walk into your home after a cold and wet day.
I love wearing thick pullovers and fuzzy socks.
I love the melancholic atmosphere, giving me slight chills every now and then.

Summer, you have been very kind to us this year, but now it is time to let go.
At least for now.

Autumn, long time no see.
I was waiting for you and I can not wait to see what you have in mind for me this year.

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Yes, I'm a procrastinator

I've been prone to pushing things away all my life. Especially important, tedious tasks take a long time for me to get done. I don't know why it's so hard for me to do something straight away.
Instead I tend to ignore it until times runs out and I have no other choice, but to finally give in.

After nearly three years of university this habit did not become better. During my finals I clean every inch of my apartment without looking at my books.

Books which keep staring at me in the most accusing manner.

Eventually I have to sit down and cram everything into my head in three or two weeks, because that's when it gets really uncomfortable for me. Three weeks until it HAS to be done. That's my kind of “Procrastination-Deadline”.

Comparing the last semesters of uni, this last one was definitely the worst. I had only a few classes, just two exams and no essay to write, but still I failed miserably. One exam was a complete mess so I have to write it again in September and why? Because I kept watching New Girl all day, working (out) and meeting my friends. Actually I had the time to study, but never did.
It was my first time failing an exam and hopefully the last one as well.

However to me, procrastinating when it comes to studying is something I can deal with. Procrastinating issues of the heart is something a lot worse. Delaying a break up is bad, because it occupies your mind all day and all night long. It makes you think about all the things that go wrong during your relationship, but when you don't want to hurt the person you're with, you stay quiet. You become a very hard person to be with until you can't keep it inside anymore. Finally, everything bursts out at once like a roaring thunderstorm.

At the moment I've been dealing with postponing a confession and I've been pretty good at it. For over a year I've been liking this guy who used to be my neighbour. We do like each other, otherwise we would not meet up regularly, but I would not consider us as very good friends. Maybe it's because I can't open up completely. I'm afraid of showing him my true colours and telling him everything that I feel.

What if he really doesn't like me “that” way? I'm naturally a skeptic person, so I only thing about the negative consequences a confession might have.
So I procrastinate and tell myself that I will confess to him the next time.
Or maybe never?
There never seems to be the right moment and sometimes I think that I'm rather a buddy kind of girl rather than a girlfriend.

I'm going to meet him in a few days and as always I don't know if I will be able to tell him.
But if I do, no matter how it ends, it might be some kind of a relief.

In the end procrastinating because of fear is far worse than procrastinating because of laziness. It slowly eats you up and makes you miss a lot of chances.
Chances for a a life which might be unsure and out of your comfort zone, but more adventurous and definitely worth living.

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Moving out - and moving on

For the past three years I've been sharing an appartment with two dear friends.
However two months from now everything will be over, because people change and so do their plans for life.
That's why I'm the only one who will stay - the one who will stay in a city I now call my home.
I still remember the time I used to call it plainly "the city where I live", but not anymore.
Now, I can truly consider it as my home.

Still, I have to leave this appartment I'm sitting in right now, writing this text, to make a new beginning.
A new beginning with  my own little space. Why?
Because  there will actually be just me and nobody else.
Finally talking and singing to myself will make sense. Meanwhile there will be these bittersweet memories.

I will remember complaining about the bad air, because nobody opened a single window, while I had been gone.
I will remember complaning about the crumbs of toast nobody cleaned away after breakfast.
I will remember complaining about many other carelessnesses, because that's what people do.

But I know, that these memories will slowly fade away - one by one until everything that remains, is a smile.
A smile, because I remember our deep, intellectual discussions in the middle of the night, citing at least eight of our favourite films in one go.
A smile, because I remember baking christmas cookies together while listening to ye olde christmas classics.
A smile, because I know that they had probably been the best flatmates for me in the entire world.

Okay, maybe things are getting a bit overly sentimental right now, but what I want to say is:

Moving out means to move on, but still keep your precious memories inside, while adding new ones to them day by day.