|Original Picture taken from StockSnap|
Today after work I went to the bookstore.
I know that I should not go there at the moment, for I have neither the money nor the time, but sometimes you just have the urge to look at some nice books to add to your shelf later on, right?
So, I went there and I happened to meet a friend from uni whom I hadn't seen in quite a while. We talked about this and that. About how she has to find a topic for her bachelor's thesis and how I have to start researching for my master's thesis.
We talked about how both of us don't know what will happen to us after university and while the prospect itself is not very comforting, it once again felt nice to know that I am not the only person in-between lives.
The life I am leading right now as a senior in university and the life I am about to dive into as a working woman (if I will ever find a proper job).
Of course, it is only natural to worry in this stage of life. And I think that everyone can in some way or another relate to it. After all, everyon is sometimes caught in-between. Whether it is about work, school or social life. Sometimes you find yourself in between relationships. Sometimes you find yourself between two or more conflicting opinions you have to balance. You never know for sure what the outcome will be. This can make you nervous, even anxious.
While knowing that other people feel the same way won't remove the burden of making decisions yourself, it can in a way alleviate the amount of stress you are feeling. It might even help you in the process of decision making. Fortunately, my friend told me that her girlfriend had written her thesis about a similar topic, so she sent it to me, hoping that I might find some helpful information in there.
I don't know where I will be in a year from now. I don't even know where I will be in 6 months. Maybe, I will still be looking for a job. Maybe, I will be safe and sound with a traineeship. Right now, I'm feeling like I don't really belong anywhere. I don't feel like a student anymore, because I don't have any lectures anymore (at this point, it's only about writing this bloody thesis), but I am not yet in a real work relationship with just my part-time job.
Being in-between lifes really sucks ass, but once again I have to accept this situation for what it is and try to acknowledge the fact, that things will change sooner or later. It is hard, but at the moment it seems to be the only possible way to deal with this without panicking.