Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Growing into my Future

Original Picture acquired via Death to the Stock Photo
 Growing up has never been an easy thing for me. The thought alone makes me cringe. 
But the worst of it all was always the fact that one day, I would have to go and search for a job, eventually realizing that I am not fit for anything. 

As an undergrad student I majored in Asian studies with Japanese as my main language (albeit I was never as good as my peers). onve my last term started, I also started to worry about my future. What am I going to do with this degree? Is there even something I can do? It was clear to me, that I needed to do a graduate program as well, but which one? And where? 

In all honesty, when I decided to stay at my university for my graduate program, it was a decision born out of convenience, not passion for the subject. I did not want to leave my friends, my part-time job and I enjoyed the lifestyle I had had so far. I already knew, that the degree I would acquire after roughly two years would not necessarily prepare me for a management career or even the kind of work I intended to do. 
I simply wanted to postpone the death of this last fragment of light-heartedness.This faint shadow of being free and without obligations.

During my studies I realized that the program was not what I thought it would be. Too much of it was just a repetition of what I had already learned during my undergrad studies. Maybe, I should have quit to do something more "valuable" with my time. But now, right before writing my final thesis, I am quite glad that I didn't. 

Being a student of the arts, I am aware that I will most likely end up in a completely different branch, than I originally anticipated when I started going to university in 2010. When people asked me what I wanted to do after uni, I'd usually say: "I'll work for a company operating in the Asian market." Now, I know that this might not be happening. And while I am still nervous when I think about sending out job applications at the end of the year, it doesn't terrify me as much anymore. My studies do restrict me in a way, but they made me aware of all the other possibilities I still have, as well.

While they never taught me anything concrete, I have learned many other skills that will help me. They might be ridiculous in the eyes of someone else, but to me, they open different doors that might otherwise be shut.

I am slowly growing into a person finally able to accept what might be ahead of me, whatever that will be.
In the end, it's going to be fine. 

I am  going to be fine. 
And so are you.

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