Tuesday, 15 July 2014

What we are now

"We have to talk.... about us."

It is a question nobody wants to hear. It leads to a kind of conversation most of never want to have. We all know what eventually derives of this.
It is a long discussion about how feelings changed, how things are not the way they are supposed to be and how the status quo can not be kept up.

When I heard this sentence tonight, I felt relieved. I knew what would happen, what he would say afterwards, but I was relieved anyway.
Photo by Unsplash
Almost a month ago we asked ourselves what we are. We came to terms with playing wait and see.
We waited, we saw and when he came over today to return the umbrella I had lent him a few days ago we talked it through.

Both of us feel like we get along really well and spending time together is always fun, but that certain spark of romance is missing. We laugh, we tease each other and we talk a lot - about ever nonsense possible, but even about more personal things, which I am usually not very good at.

 Particularly during the past week I had the feeling that something was wrong. I truly enjoyed being with him, but I still hesitated to call him my partner. I always found a way around introducing him to my parents, because I was not sure.

However a stable relationship needs certainty. It needs confidence and intimacy. All of these things were somehow lingering in the air without being tangible.

When he told me that he thought I am an amazing person and that he still wants to see me, I was glad, because I feel just the same about him.

Taking this step instantly felt right and it was not about losing the prospect of the first true relationship in over 5 years, but about gaining a new, special friend.

Photo by Unsplash
We are not in love.
We are not a couple.
We are not friends with benefits.

We are friends helping each other on our way to happiness.
No emotional fuss, no drama, no complications.

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